Stories and thoughts

Conflict is a part of life as much as breathing is. Whether it is the quarrels of a teenager with their parents, the little moments in everyday life of a partnership or determining who is right in the conversation with a ticket-inspector guy in the tram.
It seems that we need them… conflicts… to develop, to set boundaries and also to connect with our community.
I believe conflicts are moments of negotiating our integrity and finding ways of how we can be in community while being ourselves.

From the moment we’re born (maybe even earlier, when we’re conceived) we are primed to want to survive. we want to ensure the integrity of our physicality, be fed, safe and connected.
And the more conscious we become, the more we realize that we don’t just want to survive but that we want to live well.

What ‘well’ means, depends largely on our experiences and our values. There are physical basics but even there, personal preferences and needs differ. At the same time, we share values and certain needs with large groups of people.

Sometimes we do get into a fight or conflict for the sake of it… but even then, I’m assuming that we do so in an attempt to establish, maintain or strengthen our integrity.

If we didn’t mind, we wouldn’t have to fight.
If we didn’t mind, we wouldn’t need to rationalize actions that aren’t in line with our values or cut off of feelings that are painful or uncomfortable.
If we didn’t mind, we wouldn’t need to hide our mistakes, our shame or our pain.

Integrity is the word for ‘the state of being whole and undivided‘ (stemming from the latin word ’integer’ which means intact). It is the process we’re striving for, with our whole body – healing wounds, digesting food to integrate, breathing, making sense of the world with our minds.

Often, the difficult part is that integrity isn’t always comfortable. That when we want to stay or be whole, we sometimes have to heal from wounds and that takes time, a moment of realizing that there is something that is ‘off’ and then giving it the time and effort it needs to heal or let it go.

Sometimes it appears easier to stay in a job we don’t like and where we don’t get along with the people. It seems easier to avoid the conflict of confronting this and to numb our own gut feeling.

I’m not arguing for easy.
I believe any conflict is an effort to make sense of our experience of the world and to live in it with integrity.
I’m arguing for integrity and for the intention of maintaining it, for the practice of feeling what my experience really is and being true to that. And I’m arguing that there are tricks and tools that we can use and practice that make it easier, kinder and less lonely to maintain our integrity than making the effort of hiding places that aren’t as pretty as we want them to be.

Integrity isn’t about acting beautifully when I’m seen. It is about living in a way where all of me – my idealism, my realism, my humanism, my need for connection get space and I can stand behind the decisions I make. Sometimes by allowing the pain or regret that comes from ’mistakes’. Sometimes by just simply enjoying the complexity of life and wanting to learn more.

• in which way is your integrity questioned?
• What do you need to maintain your integrity – is it to do with your values that you need to stand up for?
• Is it a basic need that needs attending?
• How can you use this conflict to learn about what is important for you?
• Is there anything that you’re defending out of principle, or to avoid an uncomfortable sensation?
• And which kind of support or environment do you need, in order to feel safe enough so that you can dare to allow the uncomfortable sensation and find new way of taking care of your integrity?

Oh these moments, when you just wish for something to happen – big or small –

several times this weeks, i wanted to sit down and write about experiences that are beyond words.

I promised a practice to follow up on my article on unreasonable wishes.

First of all the question is – what is reasonable and what is unreasonable?

No matter how many times I’ve started something new of thrown myself out there into a new kind of experience…

My friend Peter wrote a text on building your passion,

I have been saying goodbye to a lot of people and places these past weeks.

What if community isn’t something we share as a group, but we each have our own?

I wish to offer a sense of ease and playfulness around taking care of the body.

The first weeks of re-discovering Berlin have passed.

Tingly.

In a way restless… In a way curious… Like I’m about to take a big leap.

doing the move slowly…

So for a long time I actively resisted watching Star Wars.

life in transition

some evenings in my bed
restless

when i was a teenager
i was avoiding things

somehow a mixing up of being a woman and being feminine

I have had a lot of conversations this week.

I too, have been following the #metoo-movement…

The sensation in the body is a little bit tight in the chest, warm and gloomy.

schalkig
long
cheeky

It’s the first day of a festival. I have been excited about going.

The wish is there. But the haze is gone.

‚Not more than others‘
‚Only the first few days‘… How many times have I heard this, when asking about pain or discomfort

In my last post I was trying to come to terms with the ‚Self‘.

I have so many interesting conversations these days.

In April I published about a book about practice of presence and then…

(Part three of my series on looking for integrity in teachers, coaches, and other “inspirational authorities“.)

(this is part two in my series on looking for integrity in teachers, coaches, and other “inspirational authorities“.)

What makes a good teacher?

Here is the list that started in Everyday Presence – a personal description and will probably go on forever.

This week I sent a manuscript to a printing company

There is no one, regardless of ability level, that can’t be connected to physical sensations” – Ohad Naharin

When I look back at how I lived integrity earlier I see a paradox that is part in making it challenging.

During a wonderful new year’s dinner with friends, we played a game.

Jeg tænker så tit på hvor meget sammenhæng der har været for mig i min graviditet mellem min krop og mit hoved, mens jeg gik hos dig.

A couple of months ago, I was on the playground with my friend and her wonderful daughter.

I think it was through my focus on dancing

Anna shares her experience:

“…I have some problems with stress, which cause sometimes my hair and beard to not grow…”

One of the skills I’m practicing is „naming it“.

about the body and life

What’s with the compulsive need to tell others how to live their lives?

Last year I went to a winter-movement retreat.

I don’t enjoy mixed messages

I can get really annoyed when someone tells me how I have to do something, in order for life to be wondrous.

My last post was mainly hurt.

Time will heal all wounds.

Mine oplevelser med Aninia og Grinberg metoden.

Da jeg kom første gang var min situation således:

Since I was 16 years old, I have had friends who live in areas which are frequently subject to bombings of different kinds.

I denne uge har jeg igen mødt min kærlighed for vejrtrækning

Something I’ve often been thinking about since I was around 7 (yes) are „divorce children“.

How do you miss someone, who you have been resisting most of your (adult) life?

The other day I was out dancing and someone told me that they will have to get up early the next morning,

In the past weeks the debates and preparations for the elections have been pushing Danish politics into my attention.

This week has been one of those weeks…

This past month gave me a couple of opportunities to consider my way of looking at relationships

About a year ago, I had an experience with a client that is still mystifying.

I was listening to Brad Blanton and he distinguishes between three different minds:

This week has been quite exciting…
I started a thinking process of how I want to focus my intentions

Freeing my movement definitely aims at freeing the being of me,

Thinking further on the subject of clarity and directness between people, I’m trying to wrap my head around „rumors“.

After a very nice and long brunch with friends today, I’m using my Saturday evening to write a little more.

It is my birthday tomorrow and yesterday I got divorced.
And I wouldn’t have believed it, if anyone had told me a year ago.

I want a way to be well that is more like learning dancing,

Learning well being?
I’ve been interested in different kinds of movement, theatre, dance and music as long as I can remember

As I said before – I wanted to learn to do a headstand and I did. Now.

I always admired people who could do a headstand.